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Me Time

The Chronicles of a working Mom

By May 6, 2015August 5th, 2016No Comments

This is very strange! I’m sitting at my desk, looking all busy like i’m actually working when infact i’m just day dreaming. On one side, I’m wishing that I stayed home today and just spent all day vlogging and watching YouTube, but on the other side, i’m just wondering what life would be like if I didn’t have to wake up every morning to go to work!….*Sigh*….

You know when I was still studying I used to imagine the corporate world as a place to be. A place where all dreams come true, a place where people get rich, a place where you get to meet nice people [must’ve been out of my mind], and a place where judgement is non existent. Well, you know what? I was WRONG, i was sooo wrong! Honestly, I can’t even tell what makes me more irritated, the judgement, the company or maybe the fact that I don’t really want to be here.

My entire life as a little girl, I dreamed about what it’ll be like when I get a job and how many things I’m going to buy and just how happy I would be. I even had a plan of how it’ll all work out, with a timeline and everything. I worked so hard to make sure that the plan is executed well and on time, and I successfully did. I got all the things I wanted, all the things I dreamed of as a lil girl and even more. I got the job I wanted, the life I wanted [still work in progress know,adjusting to changing lifestyle], and acquired all within the planned dates. But i’m not quite sure if this makes me happy. Don’t get me wrong, i’m not unhappy per se but I certainly am not content. I always imagined myself feeling very content and satisfied once I got all the things I mentioned earlier but at the moment i’m not. Did I maybe set myself up for failure?

I keep getting this feeling that something is missing. The only problem is I have no idea what that is. I tried explaining to my partner and he also doesn’t get it, not that I blame him. I honestly have no idea how to explain what is missing. Not a week goes by where I don’t get this feeling and it just makes me feel so uneasy. Do you ever feel like this? Please tell me i’m not alone!